Thoughts and Prayers (Satire)

The massacre in Nashville marked the 17th school shooting in the United States this year, according to tracking by the Washington Post. The Post’s data shows that there are already more school shootings than in any year from 2000 to 2017.

To that fact, I have included several sections here of quotes and commentaries made by GOP members recently about our gun culture. My satirical response to their comments is listed below and bolded.

After the mass shooting last year at an elementary school in Uvalde, Texas, where 19 children and two teachers were killed, Senator Ted Cruz, Republican of Texas, said that the issue was one of a security failure and that the answer was for armed agents to be stationed at schools.

WELL, ARMING EVERY SCHOOL IN AMERICA WOULD AT LEAST REDUCE UNEMPLOYMENT. IF THEY COULD ALSO ARM ALL TEACHERS, THAT MIGHT ADD A LAYER OF SECURITY TOO. MAYBE MORE GUNS ARE THE ANSWER – GUN MANUFACTURERS MIGHT LIKE THE IDEA OF MANUFACTURING MORE GUNS. PUT SECURITY CAMERAS AT EVERY POSSIBLE ENTRANCE INTO THE SCHOOL. IN ADDITION, ADD METAL DETECTORS AT ALL THOSE POSSIBLE ENTRANCES.

WHILE WE’RE AT IT, WHY NOT FENCE IN THE ENTIRE SCHOOL PROPERTY AND PUT SECURITY OFFICIALS AT THE GATE, AND SEARCH EVERY CAR COMING AND GOING TO ENSURE NO ONE HAS A FIREARM IN THEIR CAR WHILE VISITING SCHOOL PROPERTY? TO ENSURE KIDS ARE SAFE DURING RECESS, WHY NOT BUILD A 10 OR 12-FOOT WALL AROUND THE SCHOOL PROPERTY SO THREATENING PEOPLE CAN’T SEE INTO ANY OF THE SCHOOL’S PHYSICAL GROUNDS?

Tim Burchett, a U.S. Congressman from Tennessee, said he saw no “real role” for Congress in reducing gun violence and volunteered that his solution to the issue of protecting his family was to homeschool his children.

MAYBE MR. BURCHETT IS CORRECT ABOUT PREVENTING VIOLENCE IN PUBLIC SETTINGS BY HOMESCHOOLING CHILDREN. THERE WOULDN’T BE A SAFETY ISSUE WHILE RIDING A SCHOOL BUS OR PLAYING ON THE PLAYGROUND; PEOPLE WOULD BE IN THEIR OWN WORLD DOMAIN. WHILE WE’RE AT IT, MAYBE WE ORDER EVERYTHING ONLINE WHERE THERE’S A SLOT NEAR THE FRONT DOOR WHERE RESIDENTS CAN SAFELY SECURE THEIR DELIVERIES—NO NEED TO GO SHOPPING.

IF THAT’S NOT DOABLE, COULD WE HAVE THESE METAL DETECTION MACHINES IN ALL GROCERY STORES, DEPARTMENT STORES, MALLS, PLAYGROUNDS, PARKS, CHURCHES, MOSQUES, AND SYNAGOGUES? THIS MAY ENSURE THAT AMERICANS CAN FEEL SAFE IN PUBLIC SPACES, KNOWING THAT NO ONE IS PACKING AFTER GOING THROUGH THE METAL DETECTORS.

Several GOP politicians said these tragedies all had to do with mental illness. Let’s forget that many politicians expressing this rhetoric would not vote to fund mental health assistance better. Anyway, mental illness is the issue and not guns.

WHEN IT COMES TO MENTAL ILLNESS, WHY BLOCK THESE INDIVIDUALS FROM OWNING A GUN? LET’S SEE, THE SECOND AMENDMENT DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THOSE WHO HAVE MENTAL ILLNESS BEING PROHIBITED FROM USING A FIREARM. AGAIN, THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS TAKES PRECEDENCE.

Senator J.D. Vance, Republican of Ohio, said on Twitter that the tragedy suggested that “giving into these ideas” about accepting transgender individuals was “dangerous.”

MAYBE VANCE IS RIGHT; MAYBE, BECAUSE OF THIS ISSUE OF A SUPPOSED TRANSGENDER INDIVIDUAL WHO COMMITTED THIS CRIME IN TENNESSEE, OUR POLITICIANS ARE RIGHT THAT SOCIETY SHOULDN’T ACCEPT TRANSGENDER INDIVIDUALS WHO MIGHT BE DANGEROUS. MOVING FORWARD, IF A GAY INDIVIDUAL ENGAGES IN SUCH HORRIFIC BEHAVIOR WITH AN AR-15, ACCORDING TO VANCE’S THINKING, WE DON’T GIVE INTO THESE IDEAS AND SHOULD ALSO DEEM THEM “DANGEROUS.” COULD NOT THIS PHILOSOPHY APPLY TO BI-SEXUAL INDIVIDUALS TOO? IF SOMEONE ENGAGES IN THAT BEHAVIOR AND COMMITS A HEINOUS CRIME, GIVING INTO THESE IDEAS AND ACCEPTING BI-SEXUAL INDIVIDUALS COULD ALSO BE CONSIDERED DANGEROUS. AGAIN, THIS COULD APPLY TO MANY SUB-CULTURES IN OUR SOCIETY.

Some GOP politicians, after this tragedy, have offered up ‘thoughts and prayers.’ Some have said that we need more religion and God in our country.

I BELIEVE THAT MEANS PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO GO TO THEIR PLACES OF WORSHIP PLACES (Thoughts and Prayers (Satire). THE ONLY INITIAL QUESTION I HAVE IS IF THESE WORSHIP PLACES WILL HAVE METAL DETECTORS (TO KEEP THOSE RELIGIOUS PEOPLE AND WORSHIPERS SAFE).

One last quote from John Thune of South Dakota, "Again, I mean, I think when we get the facts in from this current investigation, we’ll have a better assessment of that. But I think it’s just premature to talk about it now. And I think there are a lot of grieving, hurting families in Nashville. And I want to support them."

LET'S TAKE MR. THUNE AT THIS WORD AS MANY AMERICANS ARE CURRENTLY GRIEVING ABOUT WHAT OCCURRED AT A NASHVILLE SCHOOL; NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO DISCUSS GUN CONTROL. I WILL TRUST HIS WORD AND SAY THAT WHEN MR. THUNE IS DONE SUPPORTING THESE GRIEVING FAMILIES; HE'LL BE IN A BETTER POSITION TO TALK ABOUT SOME GUN CONTROL LEGISLATION.

After this latest incident in Nashville, there’s a lot of shrugging of shoulders among Republican politicians in Congress.

IF YOU WANNA LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THINGS, AT LEAST REGARDING SHRUGGING, THEIR SHOULDERS MIGHT HELP REDUCE ANY ROTATOR CUFF ISSUES.